The Unfortunate Sky-Ventures of Captain Theodore "Bad Teddy" Gladknife

We join our fine captain, clinging to a large rubber skinned air-craft, high above a hard and unfriendly ground.

Captain Gladknife gripped tight to one of the many leather wrapped cables that held the balloon to its small cargo hold below. He lowered himself down, inch by inch. Watching the dog hurling ship chase his crumbling wreck to the ground, he had lost them for now, which was a welcomed relief. He studied the ship which now supported him with a passing interest that grew into mounting terror. It was a simple craft. Rubberized balloon, marked with a large and decidedly unfriendly skull and crossbones, supporting what seemed to be a cage that could uncomfortably house a single occupant. Bad Teddy was currently pressed against the door of this cage, staring eyes to eye with the captain of this vessel.

"Bugger, blast, and bollocks" Mumbled the Captain Gladknife.

"GRAAAAAAGH" Responded the Balloon ship's lone crew member.

This seems like a good time to give you, the reader, another lesson on the fun and cluttered world of the sky:

Due to an unexpected side effect of an unexpected experiment, conducted and studied in unexpected ways, a "cure" to death was discovered a few years back. This "cure" (the ironic quotes are QUITE important) was fast acting although less than desirable. It rendered onto its recipient a state of un-death, or near-life, but certainly not fully one or the other. The result was a lumbering, shambling, gnawing rogue that would attack on random, appear with frightening unpredictability, and was in possession of a wanton desire to devour.

These victims could not be extinguished, and were deemed "too much a damned bother" to be housed with common criminals. As such they were put to use as balloon-supported anti-aircraft mines. They would be strapped with very little regard into floats filled with highly volatile gases and were supported around desirable targets in hopes of dissuading any would be attackers.

These ships were known as "Dead Lifts", and Captain Theodore "Bad Teddy" Gladknife was currently clinging to one like it was the last girl at a harvest dance.

He held one gloved hand against the monster's head, to keep it at bay. The creature barely stirred, and seemed too broken down to fully raise its ghoulish claws to swipe at his offending limb. In place it clacked together its teeth, sounding off like the noise of two heavy bricks being smacked together.

Bad Teddy narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to call you Lord Chompy."

A cranking whir below him divided Captain Gladknife's attention. The Admiral Perro Fuego's ship was below him, and was adjusting its canine-cannons for a more upward volley of flaming furry fury.

He looked back to the cage as the creature still greedily ate the air between them. "Lord Chompy, if this works, I believe I'll buy you a hat as payment" He began to desperately kick at the cage's door with a steel capped boot-tip. That's when the flaming shih tzu hit the Dead Lift's balloon ... and the whole mess exploded.

TO BE CONTINUED