The Smashing Sky-Ventures of Captain Theodore "Bad Teddy" Gladknife

When the story was most recently abandoned the following things had happened:

A ship cracked apart and plummeted as a result of flaming canines unwillingly travelling at high velocity, our goodly Captain Gladknife had made uneasy acquaintance with a member of the stumbling dead, the Captain and his corpsely counterpart fell to the deck of their attacker's ship; battered, boggled, bewildered, and losing the use of an arm Bad-Teddy took up the arms of this zombie fellow as a weapon and made his way towards a throng of attackers ... this is where we'll continue.

Now it should be noted that Captain Theodore was never one to disgrace the honour and dignity of the dead if it could be at all avoided. But as his new friend 'Lord Chompy' was neither dead nor rightfully alive, he was fair game for all manner of indignities indeed. Chompy seemed rather energized by his use as a shield, gnashing and swiping at the wide eyed pirates whom he was thrust towards. Though his use of a weapon was questionable, not a single hit was marked as his slow movements were matched by the uneasy grip of the injured Gladknife that pushed against him.

There was a click, followed by a low hum and hiss, following that there was a resounding "Thonk-tiss-BAP". Then Chompy's head was divorced from the rest of him, leaving our amazed captain holding the twitching rag-doll of a zombie which once was and may never be again. This is the kind of immediate and surprising destruction one can achieve when wielding an official NEFARIOUS designs brand Spring-Hammer™.

NEFARIOUS designs was famous for inventing things that had few other uses outside of uncontrolled decimation. Currently a large moustachioed gentleman was wielding one of their brand favourites, the aforementioned Spring-Hammer™. The hammer contained a surprising amount of bits, bobbles, springs, and somethings which lent itself (when rightly smacked against something) to respond with a doubling of efforts in a usual surprising direction. That is to say it was "the hammer that smashed back"- as reviewed in Hammers Quarterly.

Captain Gladknife gripped the dangling shell of what was left of his former weapon/bestest-friend-of-the-moment and did what came naturally. Smashed it right back at the offending attacker. Another "Thonk-tiss-BAP" resounded and the chest cavity of Lord Chompy made the most spectacular explosion, covering the moustachioed hammer-swinger (whom we will now name Bippy, for it is an amusing name) in a lace tablecloth worth of gore, slime, and all manners unpleasant. It was about now that the head of Chompy, still QUITE active and not all together pleased with its current freedom, latched teeth into Bippy's ankle. Screaming, soaking, and altogether none too happy, Bippy and Chompy toppled over the edge of the ship and began their task of seeming smaller and smaller until they made close companions with the ground below.

Theodore took a moment to absorb what he had just observed, which seemed just long enough for the Admiral and owner of the ship he was on to rap him on the back of the head with something remarkably hard and smelling of tea-leaves.

All was black, and the black was spinning.

TO BE CONTINUED!

For reference on what a Spring-Hammer™ is please click on any of these words.