The Continuing Sky-ventures of Captain Theodore "Bad Teddy" Gladknife

When we last left the good Captain Bad Teddy, he was pursued by a flaming canine launching mad-man while his ship was hurtling towards that lovely dirt ball we call home at the pace of a man in posession of a belly full of foreign food and a fair distance from a washroom. We join him now, as his death seems forthcoming:

The supports let out another complaintive groan of annoyance as they continued snapping, stretching, and bending in fantastical new shapes and directions. The ship lurched, the wheel froze and refused to steer, the engines made an adorable "pitty-pitty-pang-bang-booty" kind of noise before spitting out a lung-scorching cloud of red smoke and falling quiet.

With his ship coming apart in tatters and his patience running as thin as his options Captain Gladknife came up with a magnificent idea.

"A HEATED HAT WITH A STRAP ON THE BOTTOM OF THE CHIN TO KEEP IT ON YOUR HEAD!" He announced to the screaming winds as his ship made a rather decisive turn towards the unforgiving earth. Narrowing his eyes he realized that, while a magnificent and patent-applied for ready idea it was, it did not apply in any useful manner to his current life threatening situation.

He bit his bottom lip, deep in thought, and glanced about him in a terrifyingly smooth and casual fashion. Another volly of flaming dogs (this time a range of tea-cup poodles and pug-beagle crosses) danced howling madness across the stern of his ship as it began shaking apart at the seams. The singed animals took a brief and horribly frozen second to voice, with howl and grunt, that their displeasure of this sudden flaming arrival was equal to (if not greater than) the displeasure that Captain Gladknife was expressing.

The bold Captain then did what any of us would do, what any red-blooded, flag waving, queen saluting, tea-drinking, "Oh my no, you first, I do say so" exclaiming sort of man of the sky would choose to do at this moment of peril. He lept from the ship like a dandy man-bird.

At first the exhilleration of non-mechanical flight overwhelmed the Captain. Whirling, flipping, and turning about in the freedom of the sky returned him to a pure and animalistic sort of pleasure. Then reason snapped against him like the cold hand of a doctor who asked him to cough before touching him in his least British sort of places.

"I do hope I remembered to turn the oven off" He absently said as he watched his ship grow smaller and the ground grow larger.

Then, with an abrupt slap, Captain Theodore "Bad Teddy" Gladknife hit something soft, squeaky, and marked with a skull

TO BE CONTINUED

(If you've enjoyed these silly adventures please be sure to comment or make suggestions that will be promptly ignored/enjoyed.)